"She Sees Him"

DJ's Grandma is 92 years old, and she is one sharp lady. This is pretty impressive since his Mom is in her 50s and not even as sharp as her own Mom. (Did I say that out loud?)

Anyhow, DJ's Mom and Grandma came over yesterday and his Grandma was sitting on the love seat and I was on the couch snuggling with Cameron. His Grandma says to me, "Your Mom.... she can see him. Trust me, I died 3 times, and I know she sees him." And if you could have seen her face. It was so sweet and reassuring. And it really made me smile and feel comforted.

My curiosity of course got the best of me, and I swear I could sit and just talk about this topic all day. I had to ask her about her "dying". Unfortunately she replaced the battery in her hearing aid and she says it was not working properly. So having a conversation with her was pretty difficult. But I asked, if when she died she saw the people around her. She said No, but that she was seeing a light and it was soooo beautiful and peaceful. But she got half-way there and came back. She said "I Guess God wasn't ready for me yet." LOL. I wanted to ask her then how does she know... but the conversation ended cause she was really having a hard time understanding what I was asking her. I hope my Mom had the same beautiful experience when she left this world.

I haven't mentioned much about how she passed. But my family had to make a decision to take her off of life support. Her body could not function without the life support. The Doctor said to us during our very long family discussion about our decision that we were not choosing to kill her, but just choosing not to mess with timing of when she would pass. Not extending her life for our own selfishness. But sometimes, when I am trying to go to sleep, it feels a bit like we decided for her to pass. It is really hard to have that on your chest. I know in my heart that we did the right thing, and it really helps to think about the fact that when she left this world she went to this really beautiful place and that it felt so good for her. Because seeing your Mom suffering on life support is really hard. I have so many bad images of the last few days of my Mom's life, and I can't help but to wonder what all she felt, was she in discomfort, etc. I just ache to know what it was like for her those last few days and her final hour and minutes. I am sure when she left it was the same as what DJ's Grandma described, and for that I thank God.