This thing called Life

Doesn't everyone just feel like there isn't enough time in the day? I think we all complain about that. But here is what has been nagging at me for a few days now. I have this growing list of things that I want to do. Either regularly or just once before...you know...I "kick" it if you will.

And here is the problem... the list keeps growing, I keep adding to it, but I am not crossing anything off! This is a problem to me. This has always bugged me, but I have more recently been thinking about this with the Death of my Mom 7 months ago, then her friend and neighbor just passed a week ago. My Mom was 61 and her friend in her 80s. But the others ones that REALLY bug me, are my sister's neighbor who died in her late 30s of Cancer that was consuming her whole body. They found the cancer, and she was gone a week later! Then, my High School boyfriend's sister also passed away last weekend. She was 38 and it was completely sudden and unexpected. My sister's neighbor left 3 children behind, my High School Boyfriend's Sister left 2 children.

It is just scary. I mean, I don't usually sit here at age 32 and think what if I die at 38? That means I only have 6 years left to really truly LIVE my life! That is not a lot of time at all! But I don't think of those types of things because I like to live with a much more positive outlook on life and things. But WHAT IF?? What if I KNEW that would be when I died. I bet I would start out and cross some things off that list. I would be writing in this blog everyday leaving messages to my kids about what we did and what I feel and how much I love them. But I don't know, I don't have an end in site, so the list sits, and it grows.

I will say, that if I did know/find out I was going to pass at 38, I would be so thankful for the fact that I left my job a year and a half ago to stay home with Maddie full time. And I would be proud of myself for continuing to stay home with Cameron and find something I can do from home to bring in income! I know that I would not care a minute about how successful I was in the advertising industry. Or the fact that staying home means going out to eat less, and buying less things, or not being able to get new furniture, a new bathroom, new clothes. I know I would be more active and get out and do things, I would scrapbook some memory albums for my kids and my husband! I would pray a lot more, and go camping with the family more.

I mean the bottom line is that when my Mom passed and when we talked about her, when our family talked about her, it was things like her kindness and her craftiness that we talked about. Not how she dressed, how she looked, where she worked. Etc. That all means nothing once you have crossed to the other side. It is about how you treat people and how you lived your life.

I DO love my life. It sometimes gets overwhelming, and I often times feel boring and just like a Mom. And I DO need to spend a little more time doing things that are fun and relaxing for me. So I am going to slowly start crossing some of those things off my list. I still don't feel a need to rush at completing this list...I feel good just about crossing things off. As long as it isn't sitting and building while I take care of only my husband, children and the home. I need to set up and become a bit more of a priority!

Just for fun- some pictures of my wonderful life!

Cutie Cam with a messy rice cereal face! Have I ever told you that I love messy face shots!


Papa Don gave Maddie her first ever Sour Patch Kid!


It was SOUR!