Sleep

So I have been having a hard time with Maddie and sleep lately. I think I just realized today how important her sleep is, not just to her, but to me. Especially the more and more pregnant I get, and even once the baby comes. I started rocking her to sleep, and even sleeping with her during naps. Today, she was obviously so tired... and since she got half the sleep she normally does this weekend camping, I played tough Mom. I put her in her crib for her nap. Something we have not done for almost a month now, probably. She eventually did go to sleep- not for long, maybe 40 minutes. (we did nap later in the day for 2 hours) But I realized in those 40 minutes how important it is for us to get back to our regular sleep patterns- her sleeping and going to sleep herself in her crib.

I have been a lot less patient with her than I used to be. I am more tired than I used to be, but I think this really stems more from that fact that I need some time to myself. Those 40 minutes were nice, relaxing... actually I think the word is refreshing. It allowed me to be much more patient with her this evening than I have been in the past few weeks since I started allowing her to sleep with me and be rocked to sleep. I started this for a few reasons. I always want her to feel like I am there for her. I also took a lot of people's comments about how they LOVED the rocking to sleep time to heart and started to feel guilty that I was less of a Mom. However I have realized that although I do enjoy rocking her to sleep and sharing that time with her, I think she and I will be better off, if she has a refreshed, patient Mommy, than a grouchy/feel like I have no down time Mommy. So, I am going with my original instincts, and not letting comments from others allow myself to feel a certain way. Maddie and I bonded a long time ago. And we both know what is best for each other. And when I follow those instincts and let the bond we have work for us, that is when things work best, and we are happiest. No matter how anyone else does it.